Archive | March, 2014

March Madness Mascot Murder Mayhem: Elite Eight and Beyond

19 Mar

FinalFour

Here it is, folks.  If you’re reading this, you should already know the rules and that I am always right.  Without further ado…

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March Madness Mascot Murder Mayhem: Sweet Sixteen

19 Mar

sweetsixteengraphic1

This is when the shit gets real, y’all!  Only sixteen remain.  The unworthy mascots have been weeded out and the strong meander their way trough the fallen en route to a potential championship.  The rules:

  • Indeterminable mascots lose.  Mission accomplished.  COLORS AREN’T MASCOTS.
  • Death battles occur on the home turf of the higher seeded mascot.  Important, this is.
  • Identical mascot battles go to the higher seeded mascot, with little exception.
  • Stalemates or deadlocks leave the higher seeded mascot victorious.
  • You do not talk about March Madness Mascot Murder Mayhem.
  • You DO NOT talk about March Madness Mascot Murder Mayhem.

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March Madness Mascot Murder Mayhem: Round of 32

18 Mar

MascotTeamPhotolg

Welcome to the next round of the mascot battle royal.  I will assume you are already familiar with how this works, but I will refresh your memory on the few rules in this competition:

  • Indeterminable mascots lose.  No exceptions.
  • The battle to the death takes place on the home turf of the higher seeded mascot.
  • Battles between identical mascots will be won by the higher seeded mascot.
  • Deadlocks will go to the higher seeded mascot.
  • I am always right and your opinion does not matter in this very subjective analysis.
  • You can’t triple stamp a double stamp.

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March Madness Mascot Murder Mayhem: Round of 64

18 Mar

ImageIt is that time of the year again, folks.  It is time to throw aside any logic and research and fill out your March Madness bracket like a man. Fill it out using the only method that makes sense in this world: which mascot would win in a real life battle to the death?  In the interest of time, I will assume you are not a terrible person and you are aware of the NCAA Basketball Tournament.  I must stress that this analysis is very subjective.  Let’s do this thing.

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