iTunes shuffle game (yes, really…)

24 Jul

You know that stupid game that people put on their Facebook statuses?  The one where there’s a list of questions and you answer with the song that iTunes picks out of your library?  Well, I don’t have anything to write about and I’m using this as a cheap cop-out post.  Anyway, let’s continue.

First off, there are rules:

* Put your iTunes on shuffle.
* Use the song title as the answer to the question.

Lock and load, people.  My iTunes library is a wild assortment of off-the-wall classics and songs I can’t come up with a reason for listening to.  Let’s roll!

1. How does the world see me?  What You Are – Audioslave

That’s a pretty good answer, iTunes!  I swear I did not tamper with these results.  iTunes, in its infinite wisdom, knows that the world sees you for what you are.  Way to kick it off right.

2. Will I have a happy life?  Goodbye Cleveland – Robert Earl Keen

Well this answer good be good or bad.  It all depends on you personal perception of Cleveland.  (I think Mr. Keen is referring to the city and not the Family Guy character.)  I have not been to Cleveland, but my opinion of it is not particularly high.  With the absence of LeBron James and the absolute meaninglessness of their football team, I can’t see any reason why Cleveland is a good place to be.  The only thing to stay for is the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame.  One would probably be happy to say goodbye to Cleveland.  So the answer is yes.  Yay!

3. What do my friends really think of me?  Crab – Weezer

Ouch, iTunes.  I might not always be in the best of spirits, but crab is kind of a strong word.  I’ll do my best to try to have a brighter mood next time.  You’re kind of mean, iTunes.

4. Do people secretly lust after me?  Many Men – 50 Cent

Ok, WOW!  iTunes is not messing around.  If we are to take this game to heart, then I’m to believe I have a lot of dudes checking me out.  As long as they don’t act on it, we’re fine.  I’m an open-minded guy.  Hopefully they’re just window shopping.  In all fairness, 50 Cent is talking about many men trying to kill him.  If “Fitty” was rapping about some cabana boys eyeballing him on South Beach, that would be different.

5. How can I make myself happy?  Living For the City – Stevie Wonder

This game is fun!  When I want to have fun, I can go out downtown or something.  Not to mention, the song starts out with “a boy is born in hard time Mississippi.”  I was born in (not necessarily hard time) Hattiesburg, MS.  Cool, huh?  I really like this song, too.

6. What should I do with my life?  Swim – Bush

As much as I like to swim, I don’t think this is going to progress my life any further, iTunes.  This answer sucks.  I was looking for some mind-blowing shit here, iTunes.  You’re a disappointment!  I do like to swim, though.  I’m sorry I was yelling in my head while I was typing those words, iTunes.  On a note related to the song, doesn’t everyone wish Gavin Rossdale had kept making music and Gwen Stefani had stopped?  The world would have been a much better place without B-A-N-A-N-A-S.  I ain’t no holla back girl.

7. Will I ever have children?  Past My Shades – B.o.B. (feat. Lupe Fiasco)

I’m not sure how to take this, so I’ll break it down until it relates to the question.  Shades, a slang term for sunglasses, are tinted.  They are hard to see through.  Maybe iTunes can’t see that far into my future.  B.o.B and Mr. Fiasco are both black, so maybe I’ll have a black kid!  All the big celebrities are doing it.

8. What is some good advice for me?  You’re Not Alone Tonight – Keith Urban

Is there someone watching me?  I think Mr. Nicole Kidman is warning me that my life might be in danger.  This might mean someone is waiting in the back seat of my car to attack me with an axe or something!  What if they can see what I’m writing right now!?  Oh wait, I listened to the song and he’s talking about like spirits and stuff watching over you and keeping you safe.  False alarm, people.

9. How will I be remembered?  Tough All Over – Gary Allan

I guess this is fairly appropriate.  I’m not the easiest guy to deal with, what with my argumentative attitude and irritable bowel syndrome (jk lol).  People might consider me a tough case.  Touché, iTunes.

10. What is my signature dancing song?  Standing Ovation – Chamillionaire

I’m going to be honest, this is the first time I’ve listened to this song in a while.  I might not have specific dance moves nailed down for this tune.  If I stick with my usual “white dude head bob” move, though, I should be set.  You see that guy dancing like he’s afraid to spill his beer.  Yeah, that’s me.  You know you like it.

11. What do I think my current theme song is?  Fancy – Drake

Oh you fancy, huh?  Yeah, I like to look good.  This song is about a girl, but I can relate.

12. What do others think my current theme song is?  Intruder Alert – Lupe Fiasco

Damn, iTunes!  You just build me up, then knock me down.  So people see me as an intruder?  iTunes, you’re intruding on my generally positive attitude.  Jerk.

13. What song will play at my funeral?  I Guess That’s Why They Call It the Blues – Elton John

Phew, I thought iTunes was going to pick something like Baby Got Back or something.  If I die, I expect at least some people to have the blues, so this song is appropriate.  Everything in this song works, even the “rolling like thunder, under the covers” part.  I’d be touched if my funeral helped someone get some booty.  Just be sure to pass it on at your funeral.  You know, pay it forward.

14. What type of women do I like?  Pop That – David Banner

You know me all to well, iTunes.  David Banner knows what’s up!  I like them dirty girls.

15. What is my day going to be like?  Fly As the Sky – Chamillionaire

I can’t really say I’ve ever had a particularly “fly” day.  I’ll look forward to it, but tomorrow is going to consist mostly of sleeping.  Maybe I’ll dream about flying!

16. Will I ever have love again?  The Best Thing That I Had Goin’ – Brad Paisley

Well, this song is about having a bad ass life without having a woman.  That’s lame, iTunes.  Oh well, if I own a catamaran with a kegerator on it, I think I’ll live.

17. What type of sex life do I have?  Prescription – Wale

Whoa, iTunes!  I need no such thing.  Don’t listen to iTunes, it’s dumb.

18. What song would be the title of my own movie?  Gatman and Robbin

That’s awesome.  It sounds like a solid B-grade action comedy.  If it got the green light, who would play me?  Denzel?

That was fun.  It was way better than I thought it would be when I started.  I admit, I didn’t think I could stop myself from cheating if the songs sucked, but I didn’t even have to try.  Props to iTunes!


One Response to “iTunes shuffle game (yes, really…)”

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